tough

grandma and mom

My grandma passed away last Thursday at home. She was so special to me and I am still having a hard time believing she is gone. She's lived with us since I was young and has always been there. The year I was in kindergarten, I slept every night in her bed even though I wasn't supposed to. When we moved to the new house, they laid carpet in her room first so we could be the first ones to sleep in the new home, in sleeping bags. We spent many hours together crocheting side by side, or watching Wheel of Fortune and eating candy orange slices.

She developed a urinary tract infection mid-February and was never able to recover. I am relieved she is no longer in pain, the last few months were very difficult for her, and there's comfort in knowing she is with grandpa again. But even though we had time to say goodbye and prepare ourselves, the time to say the final goodbye was, and still is, incredibly painful.

One of the last things she said to me was, "I have always loved you, since you were a little girl." That is my grandma in one word: love. I hope I will embody the meaning of that word as much as she did.

rest in peace, grandma, we love and miss you so much xx